IEFRA_ — Ammend IEFRA-31 proposal

Have gone thru the proposed revised section and recommend the following:
Within Sxn 2.3 - "Figure 2 outlines a generalized architecture including call four information sharing types, including the two forms of Structured messaging integration."

"call four" should be "all four"

Within Sxn 2.4 -
"Figure 3 illustrates the integration patterns IEF elements utilizing the IEF as a set of proxy information sharing and safeguarding services where the client application and a corresponding server are provided on the users’ own network and security domain."
Should be:
Figure 3 illustrates the integration patterns whereby IEF elements utilize IEF as a set of proxy information sharing and safeguarding services and client application and a corresponding server are provided on the users’ own network and security domain.

Also "This often means that the User Client application must include or integrated with..."

Insert a "be" before "integrated"

In Sxn 2.6.1, am thinking that in "selective sharing of structured data, as messages," – ", as messages," could be either ", treated as messages," or ", i.e., messages," given that I believe this is the intent. The other way to apporach this is ", packaged as messages," – which would be consistent with the usage in the next paragraph.

Sxn 2.6.2
"File information sharing and safeguarding compliance requires a PEP is tailored..." add a "that" in front of "is tailored"
also – "authorized to request the operation" – should be "an operation"

Sxn 2.6.3 and 2.6.4
same as 2.6.2 – replace "is tailored" with "that is tailored"

Correction for IEFRA-148

Have gone thru the proposed revised section and recommend the following:
Within Sxn 2.3 - "Figure 2 outlines a generalized architecture including call four information sharing types, including the two forms of Structured messaging integration."

"call four" should be "all four"
(Comment) - accepted

Within Sxn 2.4 -
"Figure 3 illustrates the integration patterns IEF elements utilizing the IEF as a set of proxy information sharing and safeguarding services where the client application and a corresponding server are provided on the users’ own network and security domain."
Should be:
Figure 3 illustrates the integration patterns whereby IEF elements utilize IEF as a set of proxy information sharing and safeguarding services and client application and a corresponding server are provided on the users’ own network and security domain.

Also "This often means that the User Client application must include or integrated with..."

Insert a "be" before "integrated"

In Sxn 2.6.1, am thinking that in "selective sharing of structured data, as messages," – ", as messages," could be either ", treated as messages," or ", i.e., messages," given that I believe this is the intent. The other way to approach this is ", packaged as messages," – which would be consistent with the usage in the next paragraph.

Sxn 2.6.2
"File information sharing and safeguarding compliance requires a PEP is tailored..." add a "that" in front of "is tailored"
also – "authorized to request the operation" – should be "an operation"

Sxn 2.6.3 and 2.6.4
same as 2.6.2 – replace "is tailored" with "that is tailored"